Family Law
5 minutes reading time

Divorce Counselling and Mediation: A New Chapter

Written by
The Tabuchi Law Team
Published on
November 13, 2023

In the often-turbulent sea of divorce, counselling and mediation stand as lighthouses, offering guidance and safe passage. For Ontario residents facing the end of a marital journey, these resources are not just optional; they're essential tools for navigating the complexities of divorce. From the rough waters of high-conflict situations to the smoother shores of uncontested separations, understanding the legal and emotional aspects of divorce mediation and counselling is crucial.

This guide dives into the life-altering power of these approaches, highlighting how they can turn a potentially adversarial process into an opportunity for growth and new beginnings.


What is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a process in which a neutral third party, known as a mediator, helps couples reach an agreement on the terms of their divorce. The mediator does not take sides or make decisions for the couple. Instead, they help the couple to communicate and negotiate effectively.

Benefits of Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation offers several benefits, including:

  • Reduced conflict and stress: Mediation can help couples to resolve their differences peacefully and constructively. This can reduce friction and anxiety for the couple and their children.
  • More control over the outcome: In mediation, the couple controls the terms of their divorce agreement. This is in contrast to a court-ordered divorce, where a judge will make decisions on behalf of the couple.
  • Lower costs: Mediation is typically less expensive than a court-ordered divorce.
  • Faster resolution: Mediation can often help couples resolve their divorce more quickly than a court-ordered divorce.

Online Divorce Counselling

Online divorce counselling in Ontario is a modern way to get support when divorcing. It's like having a helpful chat but over the internet. You can talk to a counsellor from home or anywhere you feel comfortable. It's convenient, especially if you're busy or live far from a counselling center.

These online sessions can help you deal with sadness, anger, or worry. The counsellor listens, gives advice, and enables you to figure out how to handle things. They can even provide tips on talking to your ex-partner, especially when sorting out stuff for your kids.

Online counselling can be one-on-one or in groups. Sometimes, talking with others going through the same thing can make you feel less alone. It's flexible, too - you can have sessions at different times, which is excellent if you have a tight schedule.

Benefits of Online Divorce Counselling

Online divorce counselling offers several benefits, including:

  • Convenience: Online counselling allows couples to meet with a therapist at a time and location that is convenient for them.
  • Affordability: Online counselling is typically less expensive than traditional in-person counselling.
  • Access to a broader range of therapists: Online counselling gives couples access to a more comprehensive range of therapists than they may have access to in their local area.

High-Conflict Divorce Counselling

High-conflict divorce in Ontario is when separating couples have a lot of disagreements and hard feelings. It's more than just arguing over who gets the coffee maker. We're talking about serious fights, money, who gets the house, or where the kids will live. In these divorces, emotions run high. People might feel outraged, hurt, or scared. These feelings can make it hard to agree on anything.


High-conflict divorce counselling is a special kind of help for people going through a really tough divorce. It's for when the arguments are big and don't seem to stop. This counselling is like having a referee who helps both people talk without fighting. The counsellor is trained to deal with big emotions and tricky situations. They help each person feel heard and work on fair solutions. They also give tools to handle stress and anger better, which is essential, especially if kids are involved.

This type of counselling can happen in person or online. It's all about creating a space where both people can say what they need to without becoming a big fight. It's not always easy, but it can make a challenging situation more manageable.

Benefits of High-Conflict Divorce Counselling

High-conflict divorce counselling can help couples to:

  • Develop more effective communication skills
  • Manage their anger and emotions
  • Learn to co-parent effectively
  • Reach agreements on the terms of their divorce

Benefits of Collaborative Divorce Counselling

Collaborative divorce counselling (CDC) is a team-based approach to divorce. In a collaborative divorce, the couple and their lawyers work together to reach an agreement on the terms of their divorce.

It is a relatively new approach to divorce that is gaining popularity in Ontario. CDC is a team-based approach to divorce that involves the couple, their lawyers, and other professionals, such as a financial advisor and a child specialist. The goal of CDC is to help the couple reach a mutually agreeable settlement without going to court.

How Collaborative Divorce Counselling Works

CDC typically begins with a joint meeting of the couple, their lawyers, and the other professionals. At this meeting, the couple will discuss their goals for the divorce, and the process will be explained. The team will then work together to develop a settlement plan.

The CDC process typically involves several meetings between the couple and their team. During these meetings, the couple will discuss their assets and debts, child custody and access, and spousal support. The team will help the couple understand their options and develop a fair settlement.

Benefits of Collaborative Divorce Counselling

CDC offers many advantages over traditional divorce litigation, including:

  • Reduced conflict and stress: CDC is a more collaborative approach to divorce than traditional litigation. This can help to reduce conflict and stress for the couple and their children.
  • More control over the outcome: In CDC, the couple controls the terms of their divorce agreement. This is in contrast to a court-ordered divorce, where a judge will make decisions on behalf of the couple.
  • Lower costs: CDC is typically less expensive than traditional divorce litigation.
  • Faster resolution: CDC can often help couples resolve their divorce more quickly than traditional divorce litigation.

Tying in Uncontested Divorce

An uncontested divorce is when both spouses agree on all the significant issues, like property division, child custody, and spousal support. It's usually quicker and less expensive than a contested divorce, where spouses can't agree and need a judge to decide.

Divorce counselling can be a big help in an uncontested divorce. It offers a space to discuss feelings of sadness, anxiety, or uncertainty about the future. A counsellor can provide strategies for coping with these emotions and moving forward. Counselling also helps with communication. Even in an uncontested divorce, communicating effectively is essential, especially if children are involved. A counsellor can teach you ways to talk to each other respectfully and productively.

So, while an uncontested divorce might seem straightforward, divorce counselling can still play a valuable role. It supports both spouses through the emotional aspects of ending a marriage. It helps lay the foundation for a positive post-divorce relationship, especially in co-parenting situations.

Preparing for Co-Parenting: Essential Counselling Considerations

Co-parenting counselling is a type of counselling that can help couples who are divorced or separated to co-parent their children effectively. Co-parenting counselling can help couples to:

  • Develop a co-parenting plan
  • Communicate effectively with each other about their children
  • Resolve conflict peacefully
  • Support their children's emotional well-being

Benefits of Co-Parenting Counselling

Co-parenting counselling in Ontario offers lots of benefits, especially after a divorce. It helps parents work together for their kids' good, even when they're no longer together. The counsellor teaches ways to communicate without arguing, making deciding things about the kids easier.


This kind of counselling also helps parents see things from their kids' point of view. It ensures the kids don't get stuck in the middle of adult issues. Parents learn to support their kids through the changes and keep their routines regular.


Another big plus is that it reduces stress for everyone. When parents get along better, it's easier for the kids, too. They feel more secure and settled. Co-parenting counselling is an excellent tool for making life after divorce smoother for the whole family.


Divorce Groups

Divorce groups are support communities, often found in Ontario, where people going through a divorce can share their experiences. These groups provide a safe space to talk about the challenges and emotions of going through a divorce. They're essential because they help people feel less alone. Members can learn from each other, get practical advice, and find emotional support from others who understand what they're going through. Being part of a divorce group can offer a sense of community and understanding, which can be incredibly comforting and helpful during such a transformative and often challenging time.

Benefits of Divorce Groups

Divorce groups offer numerous advantages, including:

  • Emotional support: Divorce groups can provide emotional support to people going through a divorce.
  • Practical advice: Divorce groups can give practical advice on child custody, spousal support, and financial planning.
  • Connection: Divorce groups can help people connect with others going through similar experiences.

How to Choose a Divorce Mediator

When choosing a divorce mediator, it is crucial to consider the following factors:

  • Experience: The mediator should have experience in mediating divorces.
  • Qualifications: The mediator should have the necessary training and qualifications.
  • Impartiality: The mediator should be impartial and neutral.
  • Reputation: Check their reputation through reviews or referrals.
  • Communication skills: The mediator should communicate effectively with the couple.
  • Personal rapport: The couple should feel comfortable with the mediator.
  • Approach: Ensure their approach aligns with your needs, whether it's collaborative or more assertive.
  • Availability: They should be readily available to address your concerns.
  • Cost: Understand their fee structure and ensure it fits your budget.

Conclusion

Divorce can be a complex and challenging experience. However, divorce counselling and mediation can help couples navigate the emotional and legal landscape of divorce with clarity and confidence. They offer tools for better communication, emotional coping, and amicable resolution, especially in co-parenting arrangements. Embracing these resources can transform a potentially problematic experience into an opportunity for growth and new beginnings. We have over 30 years of experience specializing in divorce mediation at Tabuchi Law. Remember, seeking the proper support can make a significant difference in transitioning smoothly to the next chapter of your life. 


Email or call today for a consultation!


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